A new person, a new NAME

I am not one of these lucky girls with a neutral or already jewish name, my name is definately christian, and it's very hard !

When I give my name, people do know that I am not jewish, yet I look jewish ! My Rebbetzin once told me : you are sure you don't have any jewish relative ? you look so jewish... not just the style, but your face... Do you consider yourself Sefardic or Ashkenazi ? Whatever, you look like one or the other...

When you convert, you have to choose a hebrew name, better when yours is not jewish at all or it can be another name that you add to yours because it's your day, a new person, a new born and you can choose your name, it's so cool !!

Do you know the typical "what is your family name ? where are your parents from ?" Jews need to know everything about your family... and when you are in the process of converting (or already converted) you don't really want to explain that your family is not jewish, or your mother is not but you are in the process of converting.

This afternoon, at the laundromatic, a frum woman came with her 2 bags of wet clothes and saw me so she started talking to me, that was really nice, but when it came to the "where are you from ? I've never seen you before, who is your family from ?" I answered what my experiences taught me to do in this situation "oh well, you don't know me I'm very new in here, and my family ? oh they are not from here at all..."

I've had 2 bad experiences during a trip to London it was Erev Shabbos when chasidish people invited me for shabbes meals, the first woman asked for my family name and then "but this is not Jewish? are you Jewish, is your mother Jewish?" I knew that she would change her mind about the invitation so I declined pretenting to be very in late...

And the second time, I realized that I forgot my shabbes clock at home so I knocked at the neighbors and asked the woman if I could borrow her one, but unfortunately I couldn't remember the english for it, so she asked me what language I spoke and she spoke french too (she was from Antwerp), nicely she offered me to come over for a meal I thank her and said that I was not alone, but with my father and my daughter. It was not a problem for her, so she insisted so much that I had to be honest with her and explained that I had to decline her invitation because the situation was complicated that I was in the process of converting and my father was not jewish. She said "then no" and looked at me from head to toes like I was a freak... (I must say that I was very sad but understand that people can be very uncomfortable).

So now I always avoid such situations by just giving the hebrew name I've chosen.

The first convert woman's name was Ruth, and lot of convert women used to call themselves Ruth or Ruthy because of this woman, I do like the name and sometimes people think that all converts would pick this name and I've already heard "what will you be called once converted, Ruth ? No ? I thought it was an obligation that women would be called Ruth". Of course not, everybody can decide for her/his hebrew name.

The name is a very important thing in judaism, there are a few names that I really like, but I am very attached to mine, this name has a story : the Biblical story, we all know it, she's one of the Matriarch. But my story, you probably do not know...

As I often say I didn't find the name, this name found me !

I was 16 when I travelled to Israel for the first time with my father. We visited the country with a group, it was really really intense, and the most intense moment in my life was when I went to the holy Kever of Rochel Imeinu. This is were I knew that her name would become mine too.

There are different pronunciation for this name whether you live in America, France, Israel, Italy. I do not like any of these pronunciation, the french would be the best I think, but why I prefer Rochel to Rachel is because of the Yiddish pronunciation but also because of the french city "La Rochelle" which i like the pronunciation too :D

For my daughter, she already has a beautiful name... Shayna :D I gave her this name when she was born, and when she'll be converted with me, she will be considered as a new born as well, and I want to add Ruthy to her already-jewish-name... wishing she can follow Ruth's path and be pious.